Sunday, December 21, 2008

Excuse me, can I have a mulligan...or two?

Today was a weird day at work, most people were gone, because most people did not get married this year and go to Ireland and therefore use ALL of their 3 weeks of vacation time in one month. Now, of course, I do not regret is would be nice to still have a day or two left right now. :) Anyways, today was a fun day BECAUSE hardly anyone was around and my friend just got back from her lovely honeymoon so we got to share stories. In fact, in the past few weeks, hearing and witnessing a lot of her wedding stuff, the good, the bad and the ugly...only made me revisit mine all over again, the memories of 6ish months ago ALL rushing back. I am SO glad it is behind me. Now, there are a couple exceptions, of COURSE, I would like a mulligan(do over) with the trip to fact, I wouldnt mind being back in Ireland RIGHT NOW. But most of the stuff before that- eh, one time is enough. I try to consider myself a positive person and for the most part I am. As humans, its only natural to block out most of the bad memories and remember only the good. But with me I am also more of a realist. And sometimes being an realist doesnt coincide with being an optimist. (Of course I need to throw this out there so I do not get lectured on how damn lucky I was and am...AND this is the truth and I will be the first to admit that I wouldnt mind seeing some of our amazing family and friends again who made our day just that much more special...............) But with the talks I had today with my friend, things were more about the bad than the good. This is because we, in full female fashion, can get away with bitching to one another and not being judged or guilted into feeling bad for focusing on the negatives...but we both also talked about the good before. Which brought back nice memories. However, from hearing her not so wonderful details...made me think again about mine. There were a LOT, and thus the reason why I stated earlier that I am SO glad it is all behind me. Then I wouldnt have to deal with selfish, fake, mean friends and family members and their words and actions. Now, I know life happens...but is it really that hard for just a day..or two, to be unselfish and just be there for your friends who are getting married? Apparantly, this is a hard one for grown ass people. It shouldnt be, but it is. I have never let my own selfishness, feelings or wants get in the way of weddings I have been in or even just attended. Because, in those instances, ITS NOT ALL ABOUT ME. duh. Now, if ONLY, other people got that memo about life, you know it's basically the "do unto others" rule. If everyone lived by that simple rule, then things such as my bachelorette party would of been a hit and I would NOT of had participants (thats right those asked to do something in the wedding, not just be a lovely guest) not show up for it...and not even have valid excuses.....shit I WISH there would of been good excuses or at least lie to me!! Becuase on top of the hurt caused by missing it, and the hurt of the reasons why....on top of that you add the 'make me feel like shit' mood that hovers when I wasnt even the one who was shady. AND to this day, still no apologies....ya...I wish I had a mulligan on a couple people we asked to be a part of our day. (I still feel like I need to keep putting disclaimers in here...about how...the good outweighed the bad and we had a GREAT overall wedding experience..ok im shutting up!). Then just reflecting on those supposed 'closer' family and friends who freaking ditched our reception right after they stuffed their faces. And not even for a legit reason. But just being shady and selfish. And mean. People think you are in such a crazy whirlwind as the bride or groom (and mostly that is true) and not really paying attention but I remember those who bolted and those who stayed. And let me tell you, if I would of guessed ahead of time who would still be at our reception beyond just mooching the fancy meal, I would of been pretty wrong. Now, there are those that were givens, but others that were a huge surprise. Also some who I thought would be staying and wanting to party with us, ya- bolted. Tacky. Rude. Mean. Makes ya re-evaluate who your real friends and close family members are. Jeff and I were talking about this topic just the other day- and how disappointed we are with some people. And also on the flip side, how pleasantly surprised we are by others. I know this is an extremely random and harsh one - but its whats been on my mind lately. Amongst many things. Now I have put off the inevitable long enough- and that would be finishing the 4th book. What will I do when I am finished with it? Be sad. Why must all good things come to an end?

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